Dear well meaning, married for many, many years friend...
Dear well meaning, married friend who married in your teens or early 20's. I know that you are concerned for me, scarily more than I am my for myself, that I am single in my 30's. I know you think you understand what it's like to be single in her 30's and that you can relate to me but you can't, so please don't council me, just be my friend and let's talk about makeup, food, fashion, fun stuff that happens to us, let's just fellowship. Just like I can't relate to you about you marrying before you finished high school or college and I won't ever know what it's like to have kids in her 20's, you can't ever, ever be able to relate to a never married single girl in her 30's...ever. So please STOP worrying about me because you are not helping, you're actually making a good situation bad. As a Christian, where is your faith and why don't you believe that this is God's calling for me right now? Why must you ask me every time if I have someone? Why don't you believe the Bible that says that I'm already complete in Christ? Why must I constantly remind you that I'm not looking for any guy at this time and that I'm enjoying my life? Why can't you just be a friend and ask me what I've been up to? You know very well your marriage is not as great as you try to make it out to be and are you forgetting what 1 Corinthians 7:28 says? That married people will have more troubles than single people? So that means that right now, you have many more problems than I do. So I should be the well meaning friend and be concerned about you. Even if perhaps I would like to get married right now, why do you expect me to wear my deep desires on my sleeve? You have your own deep desires as a married person, does that mean that someone is making you feel obligated to share them each time you see them? I only have one problem as a single person in her 30's: the Christian society has trouble with people who aren't married by the time they're 25ish and constantly try to - in a well meaning way - make us 'older' singles feel better about ourselves by constantly reminding us that there's someone out there for us and not to worry, that one day we'll be happy when we're married - but that approach doesn't help, society needs to face reality and accept the fact that singles are now beginning to consider marriage in their 30's and 40's and they are just as happy as you are - except that they have less problems than you. So well meaning friend, next time I see you, will you please just give me a hug and tell me you missed me and that you'd love to know where I bought my jacket, because you know it's cute? And I will ask about how your kids are doing and where you bought your awesome leather clutch and then let's talk about getting together for dinner. Thanks!
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